💋 If You’ve Never Felt It, You Don’t Get to Call It Fake

A Deep Dive into Situational Bisexuality - It IS a Real Thing

This post dives deep into the misunderstood world of situational bisexuality — calling out the intolerance and ignorance, even within the LGBTQ+ community, that keeps many men closeted. Rhody Girl breaks down what it really means to be situationally bi — and why it’s just as valid as any other identity.

Let’s get real for a minute!

You know what’s exhausting? Hearing people — even within our own supposedly “inclusive” communities — dismiss someone’s experience just because it doesn’t fit neatly into a box.

Today, we’re diving into one of the most misunderstood and unfairly judged parts of sexuality: situational bisexuality.

And honey, if you’ve ever said “that’s not real,” pull up a chair. We need to talk!

I want everyone to accept me. Except. I don't accept you.

When Acceptance Has Fine Print

You’d think the bisexual community would be the last place for gatekeeping, right? But lately, more and more people who identify as situationally bisexual — often men — are being met with eye rolls, side comments, or flat-out invalidation from those who identify as enduringly bisexual.

“Situationally bi isn’t real.”

“You’re just confused.”

“You’re bi but can’t admit it.”

Sound familiar? That kind of talk is cruel — and hypocritical. It’s no different from telling a trans person they’re not really the gender they say they are because you don’t understand how that feels.

If you’ve never felt it, you don’t get to call it fake!

But it confuses me. It doesn't make sense to me. I don't understand it. Therefore I dismiss it.

Enduring vs. Situational: Both Are Valid

Let’s make something clear: both experiences are real and valid.

Enduring bisexuality is consistent, ongoing attraction to multiple genders — it’s part of who someone is, not dependent on circumstance.

Situational bisexuality, though, is more about context. It’s attraction that surfaces in certain situations, emotional states, or dynamics — not all the time, not with everyone.

It’s not about denial or confusion; it’s about human nuance.

You're always bi! Because that's how I feel! So you're wrong!

It’s Not About Everyone — It’s About Certain People, Certain Moments

Think of it like this: if you’re straight, are you attracted to every person of the opposite sex?

No! Sometimes, even someone you are attracted to can suddenly feel like a turn-off depending on the vibe, the timing, or your headspace.

Situational bisexuality works the same way.

Maybe someone feels a spark with another man only during group play, but not one-on-one. Maybe someone feels a deep one-on-one connection but loses the spark in a group setting.

Attraction isn’t a switch — it’s a spectrum of context.

And pretending it’s not just makes people feel broken for something that’s completely normal!

Only swingers say that because it gives guys more access to women. They're just taking one for the team and aren't really bi like me!!

“It’s Just a Swinger Thing.” No, It’s Not.

Here’s the ignorant myth that needs to die: that situational bisexuality is just a “swinger label” or “a cover for being bi.”

No! Situational bisexuality is not an act, a phase, or a loophole.

It’s part of how desire works for some people — a real emotional and physical response that depends on who, when, and how safe they feel.

When someone says, “I’m situationally bi,” what they mean is, I’ve experienced same-sex attraction or connection — but only under certain circumstances.

That doesn’t make it less authentic.

That makes it human!

You're a fake! You're making this up!

When Understanding Turns Into Intolerance

Many enduringly bisexual people can’t relate — so instead of listening, they judge.

“That’s not real.”

“You’re just repressed.”

“You’re scared to come out.”

But that reaction says more about them than about the person they’re judging.

If you’ve never had attraction shift depending on the setting, you don’t get to invalidate someone else’s experience. It’s not your story — it’s theirs.

And that’s exactly why so many men stay silent. They keep the “straight” label not because they’re lying, but because they know if they admit to feeling situational attraction, they’ll be shamed by both sides.

Forced into a closet.

Fluid Doesn’t Mean Fake

Situational bisexuality isn’t confusion — it’s fluidity.

It’s about connection, energy, and the moment. It’s about who you feel safe enough to explore with.

Some people swim in the deep end of bisexuality every day. Others just dip a toe in when the tide feels right.

Both are real. Both are valid!

And saying otherwise is the opposite of inclusive — it’s just another form of policing sexuality.

It's time to end intolerance and ignorance.

Let People Come As They Are

This blog isn’t about arguing over labels.

It’s about ending the hypocrisy of “tolerance with conditions.”

Every person — whether enduringly bi, situationally bi, straight, gay, or somewhere in between — deserves to explore and express themselves without judgment.

Because when you tell someone their experience isn’t valid, you become the very kind of intolerant person our community was built to fight against.

Everyone deserves the freedom to come as they are — even if who they are changes with the moment, the connection, or the chemistry.

Don't be ignorant.

Understanding the Spectrum of Attraction

Attraction is complex! It’s not a one-size-fits-all situation. Each person’s journey is unique. We all navigate our feelings differently.

Some folks find themselves drawn to the same sex in specific environments. Others may feel that attraction more broadly.

Understanding this spectrum is crucial. It allows us to embrace the diversity of human experiences. It’s about recognizing that love and attraction come in many forms!

The Importance of Open Conversations

Let’s talk about the importance of having open conversations. When we share our stories, we create space for others to do the same.

This dialogue fosters understanding and acceptance. It helps dismantle the myths surrounding situational bisexuality.

We need to encourage discussions that celebrate our differences. Let’s break down those walls of ignorance together!

Final Thoughts from Rhody Girl

Sexuality isn’t a checklist — it’s a journey. It’s messy. It’s complicated. And it’s real.

So the next time someone says, “I’m situationally bi,” don’t roll your eyes.

Listen. Believe them. Celebrate that they trust you enough to say it out loud.

Because honey, if you’ve never felt it, you don’t get to call it fake.

Are you willing to accept people who identify as situationally bisexual?

• Yes. I've felt it myself, or I can understand it.
• No. It doesn't fit into my understanding of sexuality.